Female Sex Problems

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 Struggling seems pointless when ‘no’ doesn’t work. My wrists pinned over my head, “no, please, stop!”

He keeps going.

One of his knees pins one of my legs down. His body stands in the way of the other leg, heavy, sweaty, nasty.

And it hurts. It hurts so much. My voice screeches to scream but his hand is around my throat. I’m digging my nails into his arm hoping he lets go. He won’t.

I retreat into the back of my psyche. A moment playing with a Barbie when I was a young girl. Combing her hair gently and fair. Barbie the princess, the way every lady should be treated or whatever.

It’s over.

As if I wasn’t even there it appears as a foggy memory in the back of my mind.

He storms out of the room as if doing this was the punchline to a joke, the point sending an argument home.

There’s no way to know how to react right now.

We all know about the untested rape kits. Going to the police would be a waste. My family has been waiting for the smoking gun to tell me they were right about this asshole being an asshole all along. That’s a no go. No friends because work.

Well shit, who the fuck do I tell? Does it even matter? I suddenly realize I’m a piece of shit with no one to turn to. I’m sure I’m somehow responsible for that too.

I’ll pray god meant for this to happen in some way and go on with my day… I guess. What else can I do?

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This Might Become A Story

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Swerving to dodge the pillars of ice as they fall. Giant, like street lamps raining down on the city. Like ants we scramble for cover wherever it might show. Tall buildings have to be the safest. The higher floors might shield the lower ones long enough to think, but we all had the same idea. Buildings are full and barricaded to stop more people from squeezing into already packed places.

Looking at the street you’d believe everyone was outside hoping to get hit.

Heaven’s carpet bombing rattles the ground into an earthquake. Cracks form on the street and gradually tears it apart from the inside.
I’m barely dodging this ice nightmare from second to second. Five whole blocks of repeated close calls lead my old mustang crashing through the glass double doors of the local corporate soap company. It’s just empty enough to hit no one as I end what once was a beautiful lobby.

Safe and alive, I’m unhappily welcomed to the building. Behind me, a swarm of people begin to flood in through the gap left…

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The Oracle is Immoral

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This throne holds no hope
It’ll choke on gold ‘till broke
A static manic frantic addicts havoc
Systematically
Tear down the thinking man for he thinks too much
Due rush for too hush on lush lust doesn’t’ do much
Tear down Mona for she half smiles too much
Sooth touch the child in denial stand no trial or handcuffs
Yet birds in the air sing angry despair and the guns fire up at the sky
Shoot first, no questions
Blame the suit when in truth is he who blames who’s guilty in truth
But the brain is confusing and powerful too
And a mirror tells the story we allow for it to
Destroy the structure
Accuse another
The way of the Oracle

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Factors of 'Existence' Explained

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This is a quick, simple and easy to understand way to think of Existence and the individual parts which equal existence.

Definitions and Explanations inside.

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...create the experience we consider “Existing.”

Consciousness – Awareness, Perceiver
Soul – Characteristic, Emotion
Mind – Thought, Navigation, Logic
Body – Recording Device, Automatic Machine
Life – Energy, Fuel

The Five

Consciousness – This is the perceiving piece of the puzzle. This is the ‘REAL YOU.’ The one witnessing events. It witnesses events from one Existence frequently enough to believe it is those parts creating the experience, but it’s just watching the other four pieces at work.

Soul – This is an abstract set of....

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Participation Trophy

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Lynching with a diamond necklace
The trap is reckless
Senseless we’re washed to wreck shit
Tested and tossed
Silver tails getting no head
Failsafe implanted under our skin
The trip wire will set fire to the cage
Admired blaze by tied suits with no faces
Gasoline trails to oil spills
Fabled radioactivity but missing places
Hesitating
We’re a hop away and won’t skip a beat
Scared to miss the song
The rhythm is what’s wrong
Words won’t speak and we expect them to stay put beneath our feet
And ask to be heard
How absurd
We’ve been programmed all along

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The Calm Before The Fall

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Don’t know how long it’s been. Feels like months. Perhaps years.

I’ve… not starved. What does it mean? Am I even alive?

At the beginning the pain of starvation felt as though it would never end. Lost consciousness many times but always woke up. And then all sensation receded allowing me to enjoy the prison.

This ever stretching electric funhouse, is it hell? Was I a monster in my previous life? Was there a previous life? This might be the universe. A wall of concrete on one end and a wall of copies of me on the other.

They’ve never talked. The only ones out of their tanks are dead. The hall never ends. Either wall never ends.

And I can’t die. For weeks I attempted to cause trauma to my head. The blunt force of the concrete wall was excruciating at first, but that too faded until no sensation remained.

Now I just walk. I don’t know how long it’s been, but I walk. A Straight line down the hall of infinity. I step around the bodies of the dead copies.

I’m the only copy alive as far as I know.


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Kate's Hobby

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Kate lays in the corner, syringe dug deep into the purple bruise she calls her vein. The vacant body is alive but its host is elsewhere. Her gaze travels through the walls off into infinity. Indistinguishable from the dead. She might as well be a zombie.

It wears and clarity arrives. Memories of the accident in which they all died. She once had a husband and children, but that’s in the past.

The syringe makes it all a lie. Nothing exists and neither does she.

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Meditation: The Minimalistic Guide

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A simple and minimalistic guide to understanding and performing meditation.

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Meditation is not sitting with your eyes closed and legs crossed to achieve some LSD state of mind.
That is what LSD is for.


The Purpose
The goal of meditation is to silence the inside voice and allow a natural external focus state to persist. By distracting one’s inner monologue with simple, basic and meaningless tasks it becomes easier to ignore. This focus state is widely known as Flow State. Don’t be fooled, Meditation and Flow State are one and the same. They both focus the user on the moment at hand and do so by shelving the inner monologue.

Useful Perspective to Understanding Meditation
Meditation is reclaiming control and focus from the inner monologue.
The inner monologue and the thinker are two different entities.
You should willingly …

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Thought Thief

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Stuck in a circle with a bunch of squares
You’re a box
Questionin’ what I’m doin’ here
When what I want to do is be over there
Where you’re not
Blendin’ in and standin’ still
Avoidin’ corners to not get stabbed or scratched on the edge
Dodgin’ scabs and death
Givin’ in to the fun and dumb
But I can’t help myself
I’m obsessed with the thoughts in my head
And the thoughts not yet
Where they might be
And what I...

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The Dying Art of "Discussion"

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How can it be possible for a person to be so willing to argue their perspective and impose their reasoning on others but be completely unreceptive to Feedback and counter information?

If you’ve never gathered information because you listen to no one while waiting your turn to speak, what are you speaking? There has been no information collected. At that point we can assume your perspective isn’t yours but something you read from a book, magazine or the internet.

Which part of an opinion you read and repeated is yours? Which part did you originate? Or do you sit around repeating other people’s views on things?

What original input do you have? And if none, why not listen to someone else’s to add to your informational bank?

You don’t have to believe the thing to understand why someone else does.

Isn’t knowing why the villain believes they are the hero the only way to defeat the villain? Know your enemy and know thyself, but there is no self and the villain is ignored so no information processing takes place ever… There is just repeating and reciting. Is that a good basis for an argument?

I don’t know, I rely on reason. I find it strange someone would argue something they’ve given no thought to. It’s strange. And why their emotions on it are more of a solid fact from their eyes than the objective logic behind it is weird and probably wrong.

I live in a strange world.

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Detached Eye

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I move through the groves letting the cosmos tell me what to do
Which is to sooth the noobs with crude true statements due
Warm blood thick like oil boils spoiling the noise in the air
Leaving waves, pure, lingering where reality used to be
Perspective is all about incentive and reason for introspection
Objective is the mind of he who lessens his role in the grand design
Listens to the echoes and signs nature leaves behind as features we’re often blind to
‘Cause some guy pointed at a thing and we began to argue

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Red Skies

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Addition to the Fallen Series taking place in the Far Future of the Series.

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Hordes, like bats fresh out of a cave, of winged demons fly free and powerful flooding the blood soaked sky.

On land black sand rubs against the scaly belly of a garden snake slithering on an important quest. His determined pace is consistent, never breaking, never stopping, never considering any factor other than the quest.

For miles the sand is thick and nearly dry if not for the rain.

Creatures made of the darkest shadow, the doomed, lost souls and demons, claw their way out from the void....

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